What if you really like one of your closest friends but are afraid to say anything in case it ruins that friendship?

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I have been in a similar situation except the guy never told me about his feelings until years later, and his secret feelings for me caused him, myself and my other relationships a lot of anguish. I would go to him for advice and tell him how great my love life was, like friends do, but every time I did this it hurt him. I of course didn't know about his feelings until way later, else I wouldn't have been discussing this that hurt him. We ended up fooling around one night for what I thought was fun and all this came out. It floored me, and it really hurt his best friend who I was with. Keeping your feelings a secret is unfair to yourself and to your friendship. You cannot ignore how you feel, the feelings won't go away on their own and its not fair to expect them to. You should tell this person how you feel, if not for you own piece of mind, but for the sake of the friendship. Despite the outcome you can have some closure and move on as a result.

If you can't tell her to her face, tell her in a letter. Not an email. Then if she wants to reject you, she'll never have to do it to your face if she doesn't want to. Or you can tell her face to face, then give her time to let it all sink in. Then if you act normal, so will she. It may take a while, but she'll come around. On a side note, the same thing happened to me. Only I was the girl that was liked by a close friend. I just didn't see him that way. He liked me for years, but we still stayed friends. He was too nice of a guy not to be friends with. Now, we are married (for 5 1/2 years) with a two year old child. =) I came around and realized he was perfect for me. It took me 6 or 7 years to realize what I was missing with him, but now it's great. I don't know what kind of girl she is, but some people would take advantage of you liking them, even though they don't like you. Just be weary of her asking you to do more things after you tell her. I don't want you getting used by her. I hope, and from what you said, don't think she is that kind of girl, but I just wanted to give you a bit more advice. Good luck, and you should post the results on here. Use the same title for this question, but put the results.

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There is no reason whatsoever why that would damage a friendship. Be honest, and tell your friend! The best romantic relationships are the ones where the male and female love each other and are also close friends!

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If they feel the same way, you will have an amazing relationship.

If they don't, then it shouldn't be a problem- maybe things will be a bit akward at first, but a true friendship will overcome it.

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It really depends on the type of friendship you have? If you feel like if you say something that might mess things up then don't say anything. Start flirting with them. If they start to flirt back, then tell them you're falling in love with them by text message. But if they get freaked out, then play it off as a joke. Its a win-win. If they do like you then things will work out. If not then you will have planted the seed in their head, and they will probably start to form those feelings for you. This happend with me, and I told them I was falling in love with them. They freaked out, and I told her/him that I was just joking. A couple months later, we both confessed that we liked each other. Think about it.

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If you really like that person and they you, you are the one hurting the relationship by not being completlety honest. You holding back your feelings is already putting a strain on the relationship. If you as good of friends as you say you two are, then this shouldn't hurt anything. If your friend doen't feel the same way, do you trust this person enough to let you down easy? If you feel confident in this, then go for it by all means!!

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OK, I've been in a similar situation before. The first one is with my best friend in the whole world. I wanted to tell him for the longest time, and he wound up telling me before I got a chance to even tell him. It actually made us a lot closer than we were before and although we've never dated, it in no way made our relationship awkward. Like I said it made it better. Honestly I think if it ruins your friendship, then you really weren't good friends at all. Then with my other friend, I just kind of nervously blurted out that I liked him. And then after he told me his thoughts I asked him to please not let it affect out friendship. I think he put it best by telling me that I'd have to do a lot worse than tell him I liked him to mess up what we have. You should not hide things from people too, you need to play with all your cards on the table. It makes people happy to know that you care enough to be truthful with them.

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How could telling someone you like them (being honest) ruin your friendship? If it ruined a friendship it couldn't have been much of one to begin with.

First answer by ID0000000000. Last edit by Zoop. Contributor trust: 227 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 208 [recommend question]